My name is R.G. My husband of more than 2 decades died a couple of years ago. My initial reaction was shock but then transitioned to planning his funeral. The business of getting everything together was a welcomed strain as it kept my mind busy.
After his home-going I felt a sense of relief but also loss. He struggled with depression for many years so his prison was also mines. I had been a wife, mother, confidant and business partner for more than 20 years and now I stand alone with no purpose. I didn’t know how to function as a single women, as I got married at a very young age so I began dating almost immediately after my husband died. I nearly lost everything after falling prey to a fast talking gentlemen.
I came very close to losing the respect of my friends and family who saw very easily what I didn’t see. I was invited to church by a very close friend and the message that day was “Christ, my true identity”. I never heard a message like that before and it spoke to those missing pieces in my life. As a young adult, I went from going to college in order to please my parents to getting married and having children because all of my friends were doing so and it seemed like the next logical step. I never knew who R.G was. I knew who I was to everyone else but not to me. That day in church, I was introduced to a way of finding out who I was and all of a sudden I could breath. I never knew just being R.G. was enough but it is. I miss my husband and the life I had with him but I am now celebrating being ok getting to know me. I have so much more to offer and I am excited to spend my remaining years finding out what that is. Knowing my worth equals knowing who I am and doing it big.